Watch the full training HERE.
You’re trying your best, but it seems like no matter what you do, your inner critic just won’t stop criticizing you.
It’s hard to stay motivated when your own head’s cutting you down.
In this video, I help you understand and shift your relationship to your inner critic, so you can finally move toward your goals and desires with ease.
1. You’re trying to shut it out
Like a toddler, it’ll just scream louder if you ignore it.
When you ignore your inner critic, when you try to shut it out, shut it up, send it away, or try to kill it, as some people even teach.
Not my style.
When you’re trying to do all those things to get rid of it, it gets louder and bites you in the ass even more.
It’s like any problem in your life that you shove under the rug. It’s going to come back with a vengeance at some point when it has the opportunity.
So the skillful move here is to turn and actually put direct attention on it, and begin to get to know it.
2. You haven’t yet understood that it’s coming from love
I come from a baseline foundation that every single part of you loves you.
It wants the best for you, but often how it’s communicating doesn’t let you feel that and can be downright harmful.
It’s like a horse that’s in the starting gate of a race with blinders on so it’s not distracted by the other horses.
Your inner critic is like that horse, and all it sees is its own way to try to have you be better, which is through criticism, which often makes you more paralyzed rather than making you better.
But it doesn’t know that it’s just trying to do its job.
You have to develop some compassion for your inner critic, understanding that it’s got a lane and it’s sticking to it.
Get to know it. Try to feel for how it could be coming from love.
And from there, you can renegotiate the relationship.
When I was teaching this work a month ago to some students. One of the students said, “This is the first time I’ve ever been encouraged to make peace with my inner critic rather than push her aside. Fucking brilliant. Coexist.”
My invitation to you is to not only coexist with your inner critic, but to also befriend it.
3. You haven’t developed approval for all of yourself yet, so it’s reflecting where you actually need to love yourself more
As long as there are parts of you that you would rather push aside, ignore, disown, or cut off, you’re gonna have loud inner voices like this.
They’re going to be loud, they’re going to be inconvenient, they’re going to cut you down.
And so the work really is one of learning to befriend every aspect of yourself, but not so that it can take charge.
The inner critic gets to be in the car, it doesn’t get to drive the car. It can sit in the backseat and I’ll ask it to speak when it’s time, because I’m the one driving the car.
This is a lot of the work I do with my clients. I help them install their adult in the driver’s position of the car, allowing the other parts of themselves to be there but not drive your life.
Watch the full training HERE.
The relationship you desire is possible! If you’re partnered, click HERE to discover what missing pieces are stopping you from having the connection and passion you desire.
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