Watch the full training HERE.
It’s easy to get into a rut in your relationship and stop putting in the effort. When you’re not feeling the love, it’s easy to withdraw and give up.
Before you know it, you’ve stopped trying and the spark is gone. In this video I shared tips on how to create lasting love with your partner.
By following these simple steps, you can keep expanding and deepening the love between you over time.
1. Ditch the fantasy.
Let go of the stuff that you learned from fantasy, fictional stories, TV, and movies, that set up this unrealistic expectation for love to just stay constantly the same over time.
The first flush of romance is not meant to feel the same as love that’s withstanding the test of time.
Let go of thinking that your love connection feeling different from day to day is somehow a failure, because it’s not.
Love changes and deepens over time and that’s a good thing.
2. Recommit on a regular basis.
I recently spoke to a couple who’ve been married for over 30 years. Instead of pledging “forever” to each other, which can encourage us to get sloppy & not prioritize nurturing our relationship, they ask themselves on a daily basis, “Do I still want to be with this person today?” And for 30 years and counting, the answer’s been “Yes!”
Why is looking at it this way so powerful?
Because when we create a rule from the outside-in that says, “I’m in this relationship forever, no matter what,” while that’s beautiful in theory, it can lead to sloppiness and disregard for the need to continue to court one another.
Disregard for the need to treat one another with respect, to contemplate, “Do I still want to be with this person? Am I still becoming the person that they would want to be with? Who am I being? Am I showing up in such a way that I’m inviting this person to continue loving me?”
If you remember that your relationship could end at any time, you’ll work harder to make sure it doesn’t.
3. Get your priorities straight.
Make sure you’re prioritizing how you relate and show up for yourself FIRST.
And if you’re spiritually-oriented, your relationship with God may co-exists in that innermost place with how you relate to yourself.
Either way, you’re filling your own cup first, then the next priority is your relationship with your partner, family, your nearest and dearest.
Then from there, your next priority is your work and then your community.
Your priorities may not currently flow in that direction: from self/God, to intimate relationships, to work, to community. And that’s okay, but take a moment to look at what you have in your life and ask yourself if your priorities are setting up the life you want or not. And if they’re not, shift them.
The way I’m suggesting to set up your priorities allows you to sustain lasting love because you’re keeping yourself filled up, so you can love abundantly from the overflow.
4. Stay present and communicative.
Regularly share with your partner about what’s true for you now and invite them to share with you.
Too often, how we feel about somebody changes and we don’t communicate with them about it because we’re scared that they might take it the wrong way, or they might take it personally, or they might reject us.
And so we don’t communicate what we’re actually feeling in real time and then we start hiding what’s building up behind the scenes.
Rather than hiding how you feel, be transparent instead. Build a culture of open communication with one another.
Like, “I’m not feeling very connected with you today and here’s what I need to feel more connected.” Or, “Oh, I’m so in love with you today. Here’s what you did that made me feel so connected with you. That felt amazing. I loved that.”
Staying present, and current with what you’re feeling, and what you want and need in real time, allows your relationships to build lasting love.
It’s creating a foundation of trust, strength, and solidity between you so you can each be where you’re at with one another.
So you don’t have to fake it with each other, because that’s the worst and the kiss of death for lasting love.
Watch the full training HERE.
The relationship you desire is possible! If you’re partnered, click HERE to discover what missing pieces are stopping you from having the connection and passion you desire.
If you’re single and/or dating, click HERE to to take an honest look at where you are now and where you need to grow in order to attract the love you want.