From Comfortable To Exciting: How Growth Leads To A Better Relationship

Watch the full training HERE.

Most couples eventually start to get stuck in a comfortable routine and they stop growing together. It’s like, every night after dinner, you sit down, you watch TV, then you go to bed at the same time, every night.

If you’re individually growing and growing together, you’re going to grow apart. It’s gonna get flat, it’s gonna get routine, which is not great for your relationship. 

In this video, I show you how growth can help your relationship flourish, and how best to weave it into the fabric of your relationship, so you never have to let things get so bad that you have to do something dramatic to try to fix it.

1. Ideally, each person in the relationship focuses on their own growth first

Relationships work much better when each person is tuned in to their own growth edge and the relationship can be a place where you come together and share how you’re each growing, supporting one another in that growth  and letting each other into your internal world.

In this way, you’re supportive of each other’s individual growth and you’re not having the relationship carry the weight of all the growth in your life. 

2. Come together on a regular basis to talk about ways to support one another and grow together, in addition to each growing on your own

Is there a new activity you want to learn? Do you want to take a dance class? A cooking class? 

Take turns reading a chapter from a book to one another out loud at night in bed? If so, what book would you pick? 

Is there a vacation you’re dreaming about or a new restaurant you want to try? 

All of these are ways to keep growing together.

3. Set a time to have an open conversation with each other about what feels routine or flat in your relationship

I suggest you tread lightly and gently into this topic if you haven’t had a lot of frank conversations like this.

You want to make sure you don’t fall into finger-pointing and blaming. You want to stay with “I statements” like, “I noticed this,”  “I feel this.”

4. Once you’re clear on what’s routine or flat, start brainstorming ways to change it and set up accountability to make sure you both follow through

Is there a way that one of you is not showing up fully? 

If so, that person needs to decide to commit to shifting that and how.

Choose a date by which you want to check in about it, for example you agree to check on it two weeks later and you put the check-in date on the calendar.

In this way, there’s accountability, and you’re tracking the changes as a team.

Is there a way you’ve both been phoning it in? If so, how do you shift and place more attention on one another and on your Union, that connection between you?

Is it a bandwidth issue, like you’re both stretched so thin, that you just don’t have bandwidth to attend to the relationship because you’re barely scraping by because of everything on your plates? 

In that case, get some things off both your plates and turn that freed-up bandwidth toward recharging your relationship, so you actually have space for your connection.

Watch the full training HERE.

The relationship you desire is possible! If you’re partnered, click HERE to discover what missing pieces are stopping you from having the connection and passion you desire.

If you’re single and/or dating, click HERE to to take an honest look at where you are now and where you need to grow in order to attract the love you want.