Watch the full training HERE.
We know that navigating conflict is essential to having successful relationships. But it’s not always easy to know what to do.
It’s tough enough when the conflict is just between you and your partner. But what about family? What about friends? Conflict can easily spiral out of control and ruin your relationships.
In this video, I cover three keys to navigating conflict in all relationships. These keys are going to help you resolve conflict in a healthy and productive way.
You can apply these three keys in any relationship, with small tweaks, depending on who you’re talking to.
Key 1: When a conflict arises, pause and take a timeout
If you are feeling flooded by emotion and you can no longer have a measured conversation, that’s your cue to pause and take a time out. Make sure you say you’ll be back, so the person doesn’t think you’re walking out on them, which could further derail the situation.
During your time out, tend to yourself and do what you need to do to settle your system. Don’t rehash the argument in your head. Put it down and tend to yourself.
Key 2: During your time out, ask yourself two things
a) What underlying belief or fear got hit by this conflict? I.e. What got triggered and why am I so upset?
b) Remember that every complaint is a veiled desire. So go behind whatever your head is saying about the person and get clear on what you actually want.
Key 3: When you’re ready, name the upset and share your request
When you feel cooled down enough to have a conversation again, then go back. If they’re also ready to have a conversation, lead with naming the upset and making your request.
The structure: When you did / said ________, I felt ________. Next time, please, _________.
For example: When you didn’t text me back for 24 hours, I felt like I didn’t matter. Next time, please shoot me a quick text letting me know that you’re busy and then get back to me when you can.
This structure ensures that the thing you want will be heard more easily.
And if you are doing this in a work context, you may need to change the “I felt” part to something less feeling-based, because it may not be appropriate to share your feelings in the workspace. It may be depending on your work, but it may not be, so adjust accordingly.
Watch the full training HERE.
The relationship you desire is possible! If you’re partnered, click HERE to discover what missing pieces are stopping you from having the connection and passion you desire.
If you’re single and/or dating, click HERE to to take an honest look at where you are now and where you need to grow in order to attract the love you want.
