Watch the full training HERE.
Ready to have more fun in your life? Deep down, we all know that judging ourselves and others sucks.
It’s time to let go of the past and enjoy the present! When you release judgment, you’ll find that you’re able to connect with yourself and others in a deeper way.
You’ll also be less likely to get caught up in drama and negativity. Instead, you’ll be able to focus on what truly matters… having more love and connection in your life!
1. Give up the Pass/Fail filter
I’m curious, do you have a Pass/Fail filter on your life and relationships? Like you filter what you and others do through the lens of Pass/Fail?
Being a judgmental person stems from having a lot of self-criticism and filtering everything through the Pass/Fail filter. So that’s the place to start to begin loosening the grip of the habit of judging.
When you live with a lot of self criticism, it creates such a bind. It makes it very hard to have room to make mistakes, to try stuff and iterate it. It just makes it hard to exist and be free.
2. Make up a new story
When you’re judging yourself or anyone else, catch the meaning you’re making about what’s happening and make up three other possible meanings for the same scenario that don’t carry the same sting.
The role of the mind is to categorize things, so throw it a bone while you loosen the grip of believing that the meaning you’re currently making is the only real meaning.
This reframe game only applies to non-life-threatening, non-abusive situations. If you need to judge the situation to get yourself to safety, then definitely do that.
Otherwise, you’re making up a story about yourself or the person that you have judgment about.
So come up with three other reasons why they might be engaging in this behavior that don’t activate your judgment.
You have to actually go somewhere deeper than your mind to access more spaciousness. Give yourself permission to imagine what other stories might also be true. Recognize that the story that your mind is telling you is not the only story. You are not the arbiter of perfection for the entire universe, or even for yourself.
3. Get curious
Open your mind to be more curious, and allow other people the space to be themselves.
Ask them about their choices with the purpose of getting to know how their mind works, not for the purpose of reinforcing your idea that they’re dumb, or incompetent, or whatever the judgment you may have about them in the moment.
Because chances are, they have very good reasons for why they’re doing the thing they’re doing, they just haven’t communicated it to you.
And they’re different than your reasons, which makes them no less valid.
The truth is, most of our judging of other people comes out of our inability to give ourselves room to be imperfect.
And even if we can recognize that we’re complex beings who have contradictory impulses, we don’t often give that grace to other people. So when they act inconsistently, or when they do stuff that doesn’t serve their highest good, we judge.
Opening your mind in that way, allows you to open your heart, and that’s the foundation for a lot more fun, a lot more permission, and a lot more connection in your life.
Watch the full training HERE.
The relationship you desire is possible! If you’re partnered, click HERE to discover what missing pieces are stopping you from having the connection and passion you desire.
If you’re single and/or dating, click HERE to to take an honest look at where you are now and where you need to grow in order to attract the love you want.